Shattered Mirrors
by Air-Quiet-Reader
Summary: Ochako Uraraka knew she wanted to save people. She wanted to be a hero that could. But achieving that seemed impossible. She didn't have an incredible quirk, like Deku. She didn't have his reckless zeal and disregard for personal safety. When push came to shove, she didn't know if she could save people like he did. When she looked in the mirror, she didn't see much of a hero.
1. Nightmares

_The mirror's glass reflects both all and none  
Of what's a hero's face and what's beyond.  
To craft a mask blazing like shining sun,  
To fall to shattered shards of falsehoods spawned._

 _"Ultra!", they cry, as children fall to shreds_  
 _Beneath the glass wielded by heroes' might._  
 _Hearts ripped by eyes staring back, filled with dread,_  
 _Gazes gouged by shadows at the mere sight_

 _The birthing of nightmares from what she sees  
The flaws, so weak, that cannot match his strength.  
Chasing him to death's door, she will appease  
Her hero's call, going to any length._

 _To reach the sky she knows she'll meet her end,_  
 _Or face that which will never be her friend._

* * *

 _Part 1: Nightmares_

One hero, drenching her arms with his blood, dying. Another hero, screeching his lungs out toward the heavens, dying.

And she was powerless to save either of them.

She had watched, astonished, as Deku went at Overhaul with incredible speed and power. The shockwaves of his blows rippled through the air, blowing through her with every hit. The fury of their fight tore the land asunder. She could hardly comprehend the power he was channelling and his might looked almost impossible to match.

But the toll it took on him was great. As soon as the battle stopped, his wails started scratching against her eardrums. She rushed to subdue the fallen Overhaul — leaving Nighteye, on the brink of death, on his own for a moment — and to ensure her friend's efforts were not in vain. But as she looked up from the villain's unconscious body, she was horrified to see her best friend looking more pained than she had ever seen before.

Ochako stretched a hand outward in a futile attempt to help the screaming Deku — the rest of her body keeping the villain that had caused all of this chaos pinned down.

But as always, she was a step behind him. She couldn't reach him. Deku had saved the day and saved Eri, as well as countless other lives, and she could not even save him from himself.

She watched on in terror as the energy around Deku exploded, encompassing the area in a blinding light. When her vision returned, Deku's mangled body was still kneeling, but it had been burnt to a crisp. His skin was drenched in the deep red of his blood, his eyes washed out of any trace of life. His corpse slumped to the ground with a dull thud. The little girl on top of him, rolled over by the hero's side, safe by his sacrifice.

"No…" Ochako whispered as she stepped forward, no longer minding of the villain behind her. Her footsteps picked up speed as she desperately sprinted forward, her legs weighing her down like anchors.

But as soon as she got there to grab onto him, he slipped through her fingertips. His body collapsed into nothingness, blowing away in a gust of wind. She was left alone with nothing but his memory to cling onto.

As adrenaline pulsed through her, Ochako turned back to where she left Nighteye, hoping to salvage something, praying she could save someone on this day.

But Nighteye's face was planted in the dirt. His corpse, mangled and bloodied, lay motionless. She had left him when he needed help, trying to do more. She had failed.

Heartbroken, Ochako collapsed onto her knees. She wailed her anguish out into the broken suburb. Nobody answered her.

* * *

Ochako awoke in a state of shock, her arms flinging outward before falling down to clutch hard at her blankets. Her eyes darted rapidly around her, being met with the recognizable surroundings of her room, shrouded in darkness. Her breath ran fast as her mind tried to restart in the wake of the horrors she had just witnessed.

Realizing she had only been seized by a familiar, vivid nightmare, Ochako slowed her breathing to try to calm down. She ran through what had actually happened after Deku and Overhaul's fight, needing the comfort of reality.

It was just a bad dream. It didn't really happen. Izuku had lived through all that. He had been rescued in time. He was safe. They were alive.

But Nighteye wasn't.

Grimacing, Ochako let out a breath as she tried to focus on the positive thoughts centred on Deku. She brought her hand up to her eyes and felt the moisture of tears there. She groaned, rolling out of the bed in search of refreshment.

Ochako's body ached as she walked out into the dark hallway of the U.A. dorms and shambled into the washrooms. Her stomach churned in agitation as she trudged forward. Despite how awful she felt physically, she kept herself focused intensely on every ache and pain. It was far better than turning her thoughts back to her nightmare, or to the events that had caused it.

She blinked as she stepped into the bright glare of the common washroom, grumbling as the lights stung her eyes. She lurched toward the sink, almost falling as she grabbed onto the cold faucet and turned it. The hiss of water seemed far louder than usual, but she ignored it as she leaned down to splash it on her face.

The cold sent a wonderful shock through her system and she eagerly gave it a few more splashes as she tried to refresh herself. Groaning, she turned off the faucet and looked into the mirror at her own image.

She was there, somewhere beneath the surface. Same pink cheeks, same brown locks. Ochako Uraraka, the hero Uravity. Boundlessly positive, courageous, brave, powerful. An unflinching determination against the odds, just like him.

But her surface looked nothing like what she wanted. The bags around her eyes were deep and dark, standing out against her pale complexion. Her cheeks were stained with a mixture of sweat, tears and sink water. Her hair was dishevelled, and the corners of her mouth pulled down into a twisted grimace at sight of her own image.

Ochako sighed and splashed her face again. Every day, she tried to find a hero in that mirror. Every day, she felt like she failed somehow. She could not seem to match the speed of the intense, green-eyed image she was chasing after. Mumbling to herself, Ochako shut the faucet off and turned back towards the shadowy halls of the dorms.

That image she pursued — Deku, dauntless, with a fire in his eyes that could overcome anything — was becoming more and more muddied in her mind. After spending so long admiring him and his determination, she had become increasingly unsure about what to think of him.

After being occupied elsewhere almost every time Deku fought — and inevitably got himself badly injured — she got to witness it herself against Overhaul. The power Deku wielded was incredible, and his drive to save Eri, despite the odds being so against him, was nothing short of breathtaking.

It's part of what made her love... _like_ him so much. She caught her own thoughts on the word and corrected herself. It was an accident. She was tired. It didn't mean anything.

Stumbling through the darkness of her simple room, Ochako flopped onto the bed and sighed into her soft pillow. The comfort it offered these days was next to nonexistent. She turned over and stared up at the ceiling, allowing the familiar scenes to play again in her mind, despite the terror it was creating in her nights.

Deku was an incredible hero, but his reckless abandon had become a source of confusion for her. She thought it was bad enough when he faced Todoroki at the sports festival, but his fight against Overhaul was thousands of times worse.

Watching Deku throw himself to the brink of death to fight the villain had terrified her, more than anything she had ever seen in her life. She thought her heart might stop every time the two clashed with power beyond anything her mind could hope to grasp.

But, as she had long since decided, she wouldn't let her feelings get in the way of her job. She had focused on trying to help Nighteye, getting him to safety as he clung to life in her fingertips, out of reach of her expertise. The second it seemed safe, rather than rush to help Deku like she wanted, she instead ran to secure the falling Overhaul, whom Deku had somehow managed to subdue. Despite her exhaustion, she had gritted her teeth and pinned the villain to ensure he could not escape.

In that moment, she had thought it was finally over. How wrong she was.

Her memory was picture perfect for what happened afterwards. Deku was screaming in agony while Eri's power surged around him. The world seemed to stop as she watched him shout to the heavens as if he were about to perish. What he had done to fight Overhaul had cost him dearly.

Her heart only slowed after Eraserhead managed to shut down both his and Eri's quirks. The whirlwind of the aftermath had kept them mostly apart — she only had time to embrace him quickly to feel the fact that he was _still alive_ — before they were each pulled back to their respective duties.

Nighteye perished the same day. The news rocked her to her core and send her mind spiralling downward as she tried to grapple with it. She had him there, in her hands. She was so focused on Deku...if she had just gotten him out of there faster...could she have saved him? The uncertainty choked her. Deku had saved them all, and she had saved none.

That image of Deku, wailing into the wind, would not leave her mind. It had brought into focus the toll it took to be a hero. She wondered whether that was what it really took to be at the top and save lives — a complete disregard for one's own life and safety. It made her question if she would ever be willing to make the same kind of sacrifices Deku did.

She grumbled as she turned onto her side. She realized she was losing more of her needed sleep to this circling train of thought but she did not care. She could not help but fall into the same thought spiral that had plagued her for weeks.

Ochako wanted to believe being a hero could not be as risky as Deku made it out to be — at least, not always. Indeed, she had overheard Aizawa himself scold Deku for his recklessness.

The damage that recklessness could cause was very evident. She was well aware of the damage Deku had done to his arms through his many battles, which had forced him to change his style or risk permanent injury. If he kept doing what he was doing…

Ochako gulped as she turned her mind away from the thought of it.

She wanted to see Deku achieve his dreams. She knew he could, too. He even probably got closer to it by defeating Overhaul. Despite multiple scoldings, more than a few pro heroes sounded just as amazed by his power as she had been.

She wished she could just feel unabashedly happy about her best friend earning the accolades she knew he deserved.

But the screams in her nightmares wouldn't let her.

* * *

There was an uncomfortable quiet between Deku and her these days.

On the surface, she did her utmost to make sure it seemed like nothing was awry. She would greet him every day with the same bubbly cheer she always did. He would respond kindly, maybe a little nervous, but he maintained his usual, genuine friendliness.

But their time together was increasingly strained. They were both consumed by internships and an ever-increasing amount of homework. No matter what she did, there was no getting around the reality that they couldn't spend as much time with each other.

Not that she necessarily wanted to.

There was an uneasy dread hidden beneath the surface whenever she talked to him these days. Often, she might have a flashback to an image from her recurring nightmares when she saw him. It was uncomfortable and she found herself naturally wanting to be around him less as a result.

She also struggled to define the newfound feelings when she looked at him these days. The admiration and affection were still there, powerful and pinching at her heartstrings in a way that was as irritating as ever. But there was something else there now, something darker. She would peek at him from afar and find herself getting agitated. A mixture of sadness and anger that mixed deep inside her gut as she recalled how close he came to destroying himself. She wondered if resentment was really the right word, but it did not feel like it completely encompassed the feeling.

It all left her more tepid and unsure around him than ever before. There was a small wall that had grown between them now, one she did not have the time or energy to try to surmount. They both had their hero training to consider and she didn't need to rock the boat any further.

"Hey, Uraraka. Would you like to head out somewhere with Iida and me after class? My treat!" Izuku approached her after the final bell several weeks after the hideout raid, an earnest smile on his face. Iida hovered behind him, looking just as eager.

A pang of yearning rung against her heart at the question. It had been a couple of months since they had last hung out, just the three of them. Everything had gotten so complicated so quickly. A part of her desperately wanted to say yes.

"Sorry, I'm doing some paperwork for my internship tonight. Not sure how long it's going to take me," Ochako lied through her teeth, masking it with her usual upbeat attitude. She didn't have to fake her own crestfallen expression, however. "But go on, have a good time without me. Maybe next time."

"Oh shoot, sorry to hear that," Deku replied, looking just as morose as she felt. "We'll try and get you something while we're in town then."

"No need, no need!" Ochako waved it off, although she knew it would likely be fruitless to protest. Deku was quite aware of her frugality and often got her little snacks she would never buy for herself.

"Your sense of duty and responsibility are admirable," Iida interjected, stepping forward with his rather imposing frame. "It is regrettable that we can't convene this time, but your reasons are fair."

"Thanks, Iida," Ochako stated quickly, bashful under his kind assessment. "You guys go on and have fun."

Waving to them with a sunny grin on her face as they walked out of the room, Ochako felt guilt sink deep into her stomach. But she could not bring herself to go out with them. Not when she was still so mixed up around Deku. Not when she could sometimes hear his screams in the back of her mind.

She told herself it would be better this way. She didn't need to hang out with Deku anyway.

* * *

"Geez, Uraraka, you've been getting pretty banged up lately."

When her classmates first commented on it, she hadn't even realized it herself.

Hero class was tough. Scrapes and bruises were a natural part of it. If she messed up lifting a boulder or keeping herself afloat, there was an injury in store for her.

But that was fine. Her wounds always paled in comparison to _his_ , anyway. Get it looked at, put a bandage on it, wince a little, grit your teeth and carry on. That's what Deku did, whenever he actually bothered to have his injuries treated.

Not everyone understood, however.

"This is your third visit this week young lady!" Recovery Girl scolded her before smooching her sprained wrist. "You need to be more careful."

"Sorry," Uraraka mumbled from her sitting position in the infirmary. Her head was already feeling light, but she tried to stay attentive. She had training to get to after school.

"I know you look up to that reckless boy," Recovery Girl went on as she started rummaging through the cupboards. The matron didn't need to clarify who she was talking about. "But don't pick up his bad habits!"

Ochako kept her eyes focused on her clasped hands. She could feel the callouses starting to form around her fingertips, rubbing irritatingly against each other.

But this was nothing. Nothing compared to what Deku did every day. Nothing compared to him running headfirst into certain death — and winning. She wouldn't pick up his worst habits. She couldn't if she tried to.

"I won't," Ochako mumbled low, lacking the energy to put spirit into her response. That was energy she had to save for others. For the people she refused to reveal her worst too. With Recovery Girl, there wasn't much helping that.

Ochako was left facing Recovery Girl's back, but could practically feel the old woman rolling her eyes. The nurse turned with a large band-aid, stepping forward to stick it roughly on Ochako's cheek. The bloodied gash that remained unhealed was completely hidden.

"I know being a hero is rough work," Recovery Girl sighed, reaching up with a withered hand to pinch her own temple. "But you won't be saving anyone if you're too broken to move. I wish I had a dollar for every time I've had to tell someone that."

Ochako nodded along to the woman's grumblings before being dismissed to get some bed rest. She agreed to the condition only to get out of the room. She had no intention of stopping her training regime.

A hero did not stop for anything.

* * *

"Umm...Uraraka? Could we...could we talk?"

She couldn't recall him being this nervous around her since their first week of school. Izuku darted his eyes around, not looking directly at her. His evident anxiety spurred it within her in turn.

"Of course, Deku! Is something wrong?" Ochako replied, smiling up at him with all the energy she could muster. Always work with a smile, no matter what the circumstance. Reassure the people around you. Never show your inner turmoil. Day in, day out. That, at least, was a part of heroism she had mastered.

"Yeah…" Deku mumbled as he scanned his eyes around the classroom. The two were left undisturbed as the other students started to file in. This was often the case, with the pair of them striking up regular conservations before classes.

Or at least that had been the way it used to be, before the hideout raid. She knew they didn't talk as much as they used to. It was an uneasy peace she was unwilling to disturb.

Regardless, it was unsettling to Ochako to see that Deku's eyes, their brows creased deeply with worry, never stopped looking around to ensure they weren't overheard.

He leaned down closer to her desk, bringing his hand up to his cheek to indicate a whisper. Ochako leaned in, eager to understand his peculiar behaviour.

"Can we talk after class? In private? It's something important," Deku asked, looking at her with his timid eyes. Ochako frowned, mind buzzing at the peculiar request and his continued nervousness. Her heart, on the other hand, felt like it skipped a beat in elation, but she slammed that feeling down with a hard shove.

Apart of her was inclined to brush him off again and avoid the mysterious request. But his pleading eyes wavered her resolve and she found herself unable to think of an excuse.

"Alright," Ochako replied, nodding. "But why-"

"I'll explain later," Deku responded, cutting her off, before lifting himself up with a smile. He turned quickly to strike up a dialogue with Iida, leaving her in the conversational dust.

She blinked a few times as she tried to adjust her vision to his sudden disappearance. That was...baffling, to say the least. She turned a glance toward Deku, who now looked completely normal talking to Iida about their upcoming classes. Although she noticed the sweat around his brow as a remnant of their own brief dialogue.

Ochako sighed, left scratching her head at Deku once more. She supposed she would just have to be patient.

"Sooo, what did your boyfriend have to say to you?" The chipper voice of Mina sounded from behind her.

She groaned at the teasing. Having patience for an entire day was going to be difficult.

* * *

Ochako had always been drawn to Deku's eyes. The way they lit up and sparkled when he chattered excitedly about other heroes. The way they looked so tightly focused when he was trying to analyze something. The determination and fire in them, burning with the power of an inferno, when he leapt into action.

But the eyes he showed her now were different. Nervous, still darting around her, never starting at her directly. They told her she was something he couldn't face, something that unnerved him, despite how unwavering he could be when he put his mind to it. The longer this routine wore on, the more anxious she became. She started to twiddle her fingers, mindful to avoid triggering her quirk inadvertently.

Deku was hard to look at this way. She found his nerves rubbing off on her, and she looked down to focus on the floor tiling. The abandoned hallway magnified their silence, the lonely long halls suddenly feeling foreboding. The wall that had grown between them felt massive, looming over her with its intimidating scale. She wasn't eager to try to float over it, frightened by what she might see.

"Are you...mad at me?" Deku finally broke the silence, his quiet voice remaining neutral despite his fearful eyes.

Ochako looked up and blinked at the question. She felt a lot of things about Deku. She was confused and lost when it came to him, especially after Eri's rescue. But anger? That...that didn't seem right when he said it. Or did it?

"No...no I'm not," Ochako replied, repeating the phrase to reaffirm it for herself. "I"m not mad at you, Deku."

"Then why…" Izuku's voice broke a bit, losing his neutrality. His fear came through more clearly, raising alarms in Ochako's mind. "Why have you been avoiding me?"

The air seemed to still as Ochako considered the question. Her mind churned rapidly as she considered what had caused him to confront her. She had been trying to talk to him less but she thought she had disguised that behind their schedules.

"I...I'm not sure what you mean, Deku," Ochako replied, trying her best to maintain a clueless facade.

"You've hardly said a word to me since we rescued Eri," Deku spoke with a misery that made Ochako's heartache. "Did I...did I do something wrong? If I did, just let me know and I'll try to make it up to you-"

"You didn't…." Ochako replied, managing to look up at him. He so unsure of himself, something she had not seen from him in months. She gulped at the distress this seemed to be causing him.

"I've just been...a little out of it lately, I guess," Ochako said softly. She managed an empty smile and made her best effort to beam at him. It didn't even get the slightest of reactions. "We've both been working really hard in class and with internships and everything else. It's just been really hectic, is all."

She scratched the back of her head nonchalantly, hoping he bought the flimsy excuse. She had tried to make her voice steady, despite how wobbly her legs felt. But Deku's stony expression told her everything she needed to know.

"Uraraka...you...is that really it? We didn't...we talked to each other before despite all of that…" Deku stumbled through the dialogue. Uraraka frowned, perturbed by his lack of confidence in this moment.

"I know…" Deku stopped his speech, tentative in his words. But he took a deep breath and finished his statement. "You've been really distant. I'm not the only one who's noticed. What's...what's really bothering you? I promise I'll do whatever I can to make it-"

"I'm fine, Deku," Ochako interjected, smile wavering under his analytical stare. She struggled to reign her feelings in. Why couldn't he just drop the issue? "It's just been exhausting for me and I've been having trouble sleeping."

But his eyes pierced through her, unrelenting in their intensity. Evidently, her rebuttals had got him fired up. She hid her own eyes in the bangs of her hair, no longer able to meet his eyes. She searched her mind desperately for a way to escape this.

Maybe if she-

"I've seen you do this before." His voice punctured her thoughts, blasting through her formulating escape plans.

"What?" she asked, startled and unable to find better wording.

"Back at the sports festival. You were upset but you didn't want to show it. Back then, I didn't think there was anything I could do." His explanation cut right through her, sending her mind reeling backwards in a panic. Her breathing picked up as she tried feebly to find a way out of this.

"Deku, I don't know-"

"I want to be there for you, Uraraka," Deku stated earnestly, regarding her with the kind smile she loved. "As your...your friend, I want to be there to help you."

He took a step forward and she reacted instinctively with a step back. She could not handle this. She could not handle him staring straight through her, ripping off her mask and trying to get her to bare her heart. She was not ready for this kind of conversation with him.

"Will you let tell me what's really wrong, Uraraka?" Deku pleaded with her gently, eyes beseeching a response from her. He was too kind, too good to her. Far too perceptive, too. For both their sakes.

"I can't, Deku," she replied, refusing to meet his glance.

She really couldn't. She could not handle him looking at her that way. Her throat choked up and her eyes started to water as he did. She could not handle him trying to talk her through this. Her head spinning, she turned around and prepared to leave him.

"Wait!" his shout managed to stop her tracks. For some reason, the power in his voice made her flashback to her nightmares, reminding her of the yells she heard from him each night. It made her feel all the worse.

"I...please, Uraraka, I…"

That did it. She could hear the misery in his voice. She sobbed and she hated it.

"You almost died, Deku," Ochako whispered. She heard him take a startled step. "And Nighteye..it's just...I've been a little lost since then."

"Lost…?" Deku muttered. Their quiet exchange made the silence hanging in the hallway heavy overtop of them. Every word was a struggle to get out. Ochako tried not to let that show in her voice.

"You're….you're incredible, Deku. Anyone can see that. And I want to keep up with you. I...I want that a lot," Ochako recited, stopping herself from saying something more embarrassing — like what he really meant to her.

"But you...you almost threw your life away there. You had to, to beat Overhaul. And I've had to really think about that. Is that what it takes to be a hero? Is that what I would have to do to be one? To save people?"

"Uraraka, I…" Deku weakly tried to interject. But, in the throes of a chaotic mixture of frustration and misery, she refused to let him.

"You made me wonder if that was something I could do. And...and the thing is…" she sniffled and breathed, trying to contain herself. "I thought about my parents and how much they're counting on me. And all the friends I've made here. And...and I don't think I can. I can't do what you do Deku. I'm not willing to do anything to save someone like you are."

She let the words hang in the air for a moment. She felt the urge to lean on something or lie down, but she focused on keeping her legs steady.

"Uraraka...you don't...you shouldn't…" His words stumbled, lost in the maze of emotions she had erected around them. She could barely navigate them herself.

"If it gets to that point...with my life on the line, I feel like I might run away. That might destroy me later, but I wonder if I could find a way to live with it."

She didn't know why she was doing this. Her breathing felt shallow, her heart thrumming as adrenaline entered her system. She turned around to face him, looking straight into his eyes. There was not a spark of the fire that had been there before. That was replaced with a look of fear and loss. It hurt her knowing she put those on him.

But she couldn't stop herself now. Her mouth had run away from her. If he wanted to hear all her baggage, she could no longer deny him.

"But I know, no matter what I say, I could never stop you from doing that," Ochako stated aggressively through her tears, fighting through the urge to sob. "Because you're chasing your hero too. And I'm terrified I'm going to lose you because of it."

She didn't wait to see how he reacted. She did not think she could bear that. Instead, she flipped her head around and ran away as fast as she could from him. From what she had just said. Her lungs and legs burned as she fled, desperate to escape from the prison of her own churning emotions.

* * *

 **AN:** Written for IzuOcha Week Day 6: Nightmares. Yes, this is late because it ended up being a lot bigger than expected. This is theming I've wanted to tackle for months.

Part 2 will be published Dec. 15.

The finale, part 3, will be published Dec. 17.

Thank you to RandomPersonaFanatic on the IzuOcha Discord server for editing this.

Please, leave a favourite and/or review if you enjoyed. They mean the world to me. =)


	2. Awakening

Ochako's nights became no less haunted after confronting her hero. The same events played out in her dreams, over and over again like a broken film reel.

Deku, fighting Overhaul with all of his fury. Nighteye, telling her not to interfere, dying in her arms. Deku, defeating the villain with a powerful punch. Nighteye, coughing up blood. Deku, collapsing onto the ground, screeching in pain. Deku, burning to a crisp or otherwise killed by the surge of his own power. Nighteye losing the last fragments of his life behind her.

The only difference is she no longer did anything to influence what happened around her. She understood it was fruitless.

When Deku defeated Overhaul, she didn't leap into action. When he called out for help, she didn't move. When he was consumed by his power, she didn't cry.

She would reach a hand out...and then pull it back.

For there was nothing more she could do.

* * *

The walls between Ochako and Deku had become colossal. At this point, she made a very conscious effort to keep them that way, to try to protect her turmoil-ravaged heart from his zeal. No amount of decrees of "plus ultra" were going to get through this barrier, not this time.

In class, she would keep her eyes away from him. After school, she would rush off to do individual exercises before anyone could confront her. In the dorms, she would only go to the common areas at times she knew Deku wouldn't be there.

She tried to tell herself it wasn't weird that she knew his schedules.

With a renewed and furious vigor, she threw herself into her training. Her free time was spent furiously developing muscle, running around the campus, or pumping weights at the gym. She was desperate to improve and improve both her endurance and her ability to withstand the bumps and bruises of hero work.

But it all started to take a toll on her. Her nights were sleepless. Her days were restless. She started dozing off in math class. She found herself struggling to maintain as much control of her quirk during heroics.

"You look like the living dead," Tsuyu told her frankly one day before class.

"Thank you for the observation," Ochako grumbled humorlessly from her desk. She had seen the dark, heavy rings around her eyes in the mirror that morning. She decided that today, she did not care.

"When are you going to patch things up with Midoriya?" Mina inquired, leaning in over Ochako. The pink girl had asked that question every day since the pair's confrontation. It was getting to be annoying.

"I don't know," Ochako replied honestly. Eyes dropping and head feeling light, she buried her head in her folded elbows and sighed. She wished she could find it in herself to move past what had happened. But she couldn't.

"You know you should really…" Mina began but stopped herself. Ochako could tell Tsuyu had probably motioned for Mina to cut it out. Ochako was thankful for that.

"I appreciate your concern," Ochako said while turning her head to look over at Mina. For once, the pink girl looked unsure of herself. "But I'm fine. Well, not fine, but I'm dealing with it."

It almost physically hurt, but Ochako managed to put on a smile. She had to fool them. "I'll get through this."

Mina did not look convinced but Aizawa mercifully trudged into the room, sparing Ochako from further well-meaning prodding.

Ochako lifted up her head and opened up her notebook. Dutifully, she wrote while much of her mind drifted into an expansive emptiness.

She would be fine. She didn't need help. She...she didn't need to see Deku, not really. It would likely make things worse if anything.

Ochako took a chance and glanced up at him, while there was no way he would be looking back at her. He was there, diligently writing in his notebook while lifting a dumbbell with his free hand. Staying true to the work ethic that would lead him to become the world's greatest hero.

She set her mouth in a grim line and buried her face into the paper.

* * *

The dead of night had fallen. Once more, she found herself splashing her face with freezing water while staring in front of the mirror.

There was a little girl there, crying her darkened eyes out because she had another bad dream. She wanted to go back home. She wanted to see her daddy and mommy. She called them every day but she couldn't let them know this was happening. They had too much else to worry about.

She couldn't find a hero reflected in the glass. Sighing, she turned off the faucet again.

She narrowly resisted the urge to smash the mirror with her fist. But she was stronger than that.

Ochako calmly trudged out of the room to face her nightmares once more.

* * *

It was an ordinary, busy day in the city. The sun was shining brightly and people milled about going about their shopping and various errands.

Ochako found herself batter by the throngs of the crowd as she braved the mass of people to get some shopping done. It was a good distraction from all the chaos of school. She could focus on putting one step in another, navigating through the city and on what she needed to get next. For once, the casual bumps and the cacophony of noise were actually something she enjoyed.

But one sound started to pierce through the air. One that made Ochako pause and instinctively look towards the busy streets in search of its source.

It was the sound of sirens.

The cause made itself known before she could take her next breath. Sprinting quickly out of side street ahead of her came a gargantuan, brute of a man smashing his way through the middle of a road. He must have been at least ten feet tall, towering over everything in his path. His legs, adorned only with a massive pair of shorts, were as big as tree trunks, easily smashing all the stopping cars that bumped into his path. Veins and muscles protruded from his skin to an almost comical degree, barely containing the might within the beast.

"STAY OUT OF MY WAY!" the man roared in a deep, booming voice that sent screams throughout the crowd. Ochako felt the ground beneath her feet shake from the thundering footsteps of the villain.

She wasn't sure what compelled her to move in that moment. Her mind flashed briefly to the crosswalks she knew were behind her, that the man was almost certainly going to trample. Those people could get hurt. She couldn't let that happen.

Without another thought, Ochako leapt out of the crowd and onto the street just as the giant was running past her. With all of her strength, Ochako jumped off the ground, reaching a hand out to tag the man. She barely managed to touch the skin of his elbow thanks to his massive size. But the force of his momentum punching through the air pushed her off-balance, causing her to faceplant hard into the pavement.

Feeling the familiar strain of her quirk, Ochako bounced back up, ignoring the bloody nose she now sported. She brought her hands together as she focused on keeping the man weightless. She looked up to catch a glimpse of the brute, now flailing helplessly in the air as all his momentum went to nothing.

"WHAT THE HELL?!" the man roared again, throwing his limbs in every way as he slowly started to ascend.

"Breathe…" Ochako reminded herself aloud as she strained to keep up her quirk. This guy was _heavy_ , depleting her energy much faster than even the boulders she wielded in class. Her stomach grumbled and her muscles burned as she struggled to keep him airborne. But she wasn't going to stop until help came. People would get hurt if she did.

Fortunately, the police and professional heroes arrived soon after to subdue the helpless villain.

With a deep breath, Ochako was able to release the giant, who was quickly grappled by a couple of pros with strength quirks. She immediately puked her breakfast out onto the edge of the sidewalk. She groaning mournfully as her stomach raged inside of her before being onset by emergency responders.

Everything after that point went by in a blur. She carefully worked with a couple of heroes to ensure the villain was safely contained. An ambulance came by with a stretcher to deal with any injuries she sustained, but she waved them off after they had bandaged up her nose rather uncomfortably. The police officers asked her a few questions but mercifully didn't feel a need to take her anywhere.

And everyone she interacted with thanked her or complimented her for her bravery. Indeed, the crowd roared with applause from behind a wide police quarantine after the villain was completely subdued, to which she was thankful she could hide behind some of the emergency vehicles. What she did wasn't really all that difficult; she was hardly worthy of praise. Not when she compared herself against what he...what a lot of her classmates were able to do.

But before Ochako could leave the quarantine, she felt a small tug on the back of her arm. She turned to be met with someone who looked far too much like Izuku, were he a middle-aged woman.

"Are you...are you Uraraka?" the woman asked softly, presenting a shaky smile. Ochako observed a bandage on the side of the lady's head, figuring that she must have been somehow injured in the attack.

"Yes..sorry, do I know-"

"I'm Izuku's mother," Inko interrupted her eagerly, grabbing onto Ochako's hand and shaking it with enthusiasm. "It's so good to meet you. Thank you so, so much. You saved my life."

"Uhh...what?" Ochako responded blankly, eyes wide as she tried to process the rush of information being thrust upon her by this woman.

"I fell on the crosswalk from the shaking ground," Inko said, pointing to wound on her head. "I would have been trampled if you hadn't leapt in there! Oh, I can't believe I'm meeting you this way. I don't know how I can repay you!"

"Please...it was nothing," Ochako replied, scratching the back of her head nervously. She had never dealt with something like this before. She wasn't sure how to handle this kind of praise from anyone, let alone _Deku's mother._

"Nothing? You leapt right into his warpath! You're a real hero," Inko praised, beaming at her.

 _A real hero_. The words flashed brightly through Ochako's mind before being submerged in shadow. She felt her face fall as she averted her eyes from the kind woman.

"I'm...I'm really not. But you're welcome."

There was a brief pause between them as Ochako disentangled her hand and prepared to walk away, wanting nothing more than to escape the situation.

"Please, come over to my place and let me make you something to eat," Inko pleaded, folding her hands in front of herself and looking up at Ochako with soft eyes.

"I...I really shouldn't…" Ochako tried to say, before a comically loud groan sounded from her stomach. Using her quirk made her hungry and she had been on her way to grab lunch before the villain appeared. Still, to impose on Deku's mother…

"Your stomach says otherwise," Inko teased, smiling up at the girl. Ochako reluctantly turned her gaze to stare into the woman's eyes. A familiar flash of shining green was held within them.

She gulped and found herself unable to say no.

* * *

The aroma of homemade cooking wafted through the modest apartment that the Midoriya family called home. Despite being on edge, Ochako felt a sense of enchantment and nostalgia from the smell. It reminded her of her own mother's cooking. She missed it.

But she still found herself drumming the sides of her fingers nervously on the dining table as Inko busied herself with cooking. Her eyes were bombarded with pictures of Deku everywhere. Deku looking awkward in a middle school uniform. Deku in his hero costume, beaming at the camera. Tiny child Deku dressed up in an All Might hoodie and _gosh if he wasn't so darned cute as a kid she wanted to protect that smile_ -

She squeaked at her own rambling thoughts and covered her mouth, feeling her face heat up. Her mind was in disarray and she committed then to not looking at any more pictures of Deku. Tempting as they were, she focused on a blank spot on the wall instead. She was messed up enough about him as it is without acknowledging the warm feelings his smile could bring her.

Idly, Ochako wondered whether those pictures were always there or whether they might be a more recent addition since Deku moved from the dorms. She recalled her first day back home with her parents after moving to the city. After all of the tearful hugs, she was surprised to see a lot of the walls were now covered with pictures of her face. It got a little bit unsettling but she couldn't begrudge her parents for missing her. Especially not when her own desk had a couple of pictures of them.

Ochako glanced over at Inko, who busied herself chopping vegetables with a practised ease while wearing a gentle smile. Without a second thought, the woman had invited her into her home and started cooking a meal, insisting that Ochako not help. Beyond just her similar appearance, she had a kind and gentle spirit that reminded her a lot of Deku. It seemed easy to tell how Deku became the sweet boy he was today.

"So, how has my son been doing lately?" Inko broke the silence as she casually threw the vegetables into a boiling pot, snapping Ochako back into attention.

"Oh, he's...he's good," Ochako managed, unable to come up with a better description when put on the spot. "He's...he's easily the top student in class, if you ask me." She got that out with more of the bubbliness she was known for, hoping that it was convincing enough to keep the conversation surface-level.

"That's nice to hear," Inko said brightly, turning to flash Ochako a smile. The girl's lip quivered slightly in her answering grin.

"I was just wondering if..." Inko trailed off as she went back to her cooking, tone dropping its brightness. "I saw him pop up on the news the other day. He called me and told me he's fine but...I need to know. Is he getting hurt as much?"

Immediately, Ochako's nightmares bubbled to the forefront of her mind. The agonized shouts the blood everywhere, Deku screaming with his mangled limbs. Those mixed with the images of the real fight, where Deku had gotten hurt...but wasn't too worse for wear by the end of it.

"He's...it's...sometimes," Ochako mumbled, unsure of how to answer. "He does get hurt quite a bit. It's...kind of part of the job, I guess. And that quirk of is is really something but it does injure him a lot. He's getting better with that part of it though!"

She tried to sound cheery in her rambling but found it increasingly difficult to do so under the weight of her last conversation with Deku. She successfully fumbled through the half-truths but it made her feel a little guilty, considering how nice Inko was.

The older woman sighed mournfully. "That's...that's good, I suppose. I just get worried sometimes," Inko replied. "After watching the sports festival, I'm always scared he's hurting himself, pushing everything too hard."

"He's...very driven," Ochako noted, contemplating the woman before her. Deku's heroic zeal had certainly frightened her, too. She could only imagine how it must feel for Deku's mother, watching her son get battered as a hero over and over again. "I get worried about him too. If you don't mind me asking...how do you deal with it?"

There was a moment of silence in which Ochako was left starting at the back of Inko's head. The older woman slowly reached over the hot stove top and around a pot of boiling water to shut off the machine.

"I'm sorry if that was-" Ochako began, trying to correct the misstep.

"..It's fine," Inko interjected, voice turned fragile by the conversation. "It's a...fair question. The truth is...I don't really deal with it."

Silence permeated the room once more. The tension was thick in the air and Ochako felt more than a little anxious by the direction of this conversation.

Her curiosity got the better of her, though. "What...what do you mean?"

The next pause was longer. Inko kept her back turned and Ochako was left waiting, consumed by nervous energy.

"I'm sorry, it's...it's nothing," Inko said, turning around to give Ochako a smile. The young student could tell how false it was. She had seen it on her own face enough times in the mirror to know.

"I'm just being silly. Sorry to bother you with it," Inko continued, reaching back to turn the heat for her stovetop back on.

Ochako could see how eager Inko was to escape the conversation. Much like herself, there were probably some things the woman didn't want to face about her feelings. She could certainly empathize with that.

She decided to respect those wishes and dropped the subject. It would be hypocritical of her not to.

Another awkward silence formed between them.

Ochako found herself looking around the room again as Inko resumed cooking, no longer as comfortable looking at the older woman. Despite her best efforts, her eyes wandered back to the image of a young Deku, beaming out to the camera without a care in the world. It was so unlike the Deku she knew these days, who always seemed to be concentrating on something she couldn't see.

Wanting to strike up some sort of casual dialogue, Ochako seized upon a thought for what should be a safe subject.

"If you don't mind me asking...what was Deku like growing up?"

Inko perked up a bit at the topic, her back springing upright and her voice taking on the same positive energy as when they met earlier.

"Oh, Deku was nothing short of a little angel," Inko gushed, her love for her son coming through every word. "He was really into All Might and superheroes, as I'm sure you know. But he took that and tried to be a hero everywhere he went."

Inko slowed for a moment while she stirred something. Ochako leaned in, hanging on the mother's every word. It was strangely fascinating to get an idea of what the kid Deku might have been like.

"He was always eager to help me out with the chores or cheer me up after I told him he was my hero," Inko continued, her voice taking on a softer, gentler warmth than before. "He hardly ever made a fuss about things and I would always find him playing so nicely with other kids.

"That's so sweet," Ochako sighed, a fuzzy kind of happiness filling her as she pictured it. That was Deku, alright. Even when he was a kid, always wanting to help others and be kind to everyone around him.

"But he...well, those parts of him never really changed," Inko continued, voice losing some of its brightness. "Things got hard after we found out he was quirkless though."

Ochako's perked her eyebrows up a bit at that. Izuku had briefly mentioned that he had developed his quirk late, but he was very quiet on what living as quirkless during his childhood was like. It was something she had always been curious about.

"He got bullied a lot," Inko went on without more prodding, which Ochako was thankful for. "His friends all left him. But despite all that, he still wanted to be like All Might. He still wanted to be a hero. He was...stubborn."

Ochako was enraptured by her hero's history. This...this was fascinating. How could Deku had been so determined, even back then? She couldn't imagine how she would have fared hanging onto her dream of being a hero without a quirk.

"I can remember how depressed he was back when he found out. How depressed I was," Inko's train of thoughts was unrelenting. Ochako wondered if Inko was even really considering her, at this point. "I...I said the wrong thing. And I never encouraged him to be a hero after that."

The older woman sighed, turning the stove off again. Ochako wasn't sure if Inko had actually been working on the food through her speech. The older woman finally turned around, revealing a couple of tears staining her cheeks. Ochako moved back deeply into her chair in alarm, watched on in concern as the older woman collapsed into the seat across from her, hands folding neatly on her lap.

"I'm sorry, I just...I'm a little...need a moment," Inko spoke brokenly, keeping her eyes squared down the lap. "It's hard talking about this, after all that's happened. I...don't have a lot of people to talk to about this kind of thing and I guess I just got a little lost. Maybe my head is a little messed up from the blow earlier."

"No, no, it's fine," Ochako assured quickly, waving a hand haphazardly, not wanting to cause the kind woman any more grief. " _I'm_ sorry if my questions are bothering you. It's just...well, Deku is a good friend. I'm interested in hearing about him."

Inko managed a smile the girl's reply "I'm glad he's found friends like you, dear. It means a lot to know that he has people at school that care about him."

Ochako's cheeks got a little warm but she kept herself composed. It wasn't a comment that had to imply anything romantic. "He's my best friend. And he has plenty of other friends at school now, too. Deku is someone I...a lot of people look up to."

Ochako looked up and noticed Inko's eyes staring intensely at her, a...knowing?...smile appearing on the woman's face. The heat around her cheeks grew. She was prepared to protest another accusation of deeper feelings, but Inko did not seem intent to do that.

"I'm glad," Inko replied simply. "He's...he's special. When he was a little boy, I didn't just call him my hero because it's what he wanted to be. I really meant it. I'm...I'm not sure I could have gotten through a lot of things if it wasn't for him."

Ochako's heartstrings tugged as a thoughtful look appeared on Inko's face. In that moment, she felt a strong chord of kinship with the woman. Averting her eyes, Ochako couldn't help but let a bit of her heart escape from her mouth:

"He's my hero too," she stated quietly.

Inko's eyes widened as the two met each other's stares full-on, green clashing against brown. The two wore identical smiles, forlorn with the heartache they realized they both shared. They might not know each other well but they shared a bond in how they cared for the aspiring symbol of peace.

"What happened after you found out he was quirkless?" Ochako asked earnestly, feeling gradually more comfortable around Deku's mother. "I want to hear more. If...if you don't mind, that is."

Inko raised her hand slightly in a reassuring gesture, shaking her head. "Not at all. I think...maybe this is good for me," Inko muttered, before taking a deep breath to gather herself. "I...well...I guess I tried to encourage him to do other things. Something simple, like a baker or a teacher. I knew he probably couldn't make it as a hero without a quirk. I...I was scared of what might happen to him if he tried."

Inko looked out at one of the pictures and Ochako followed her gaze to see Izuku, looking to be in early adolescence, grinning while holding up a plastic box with an All Might figure contained inside.

"But no matter what I tried, he never stopped wanting to be a hero. He never stopped wanting to be like All Might," Inko sighed. "I couldn't begrudge his hobby, not after what happened. I thought eventually he'd grow out of it."

Ochako leaned in, nodding along as Inko recounted the story of Deku unabashedly. Her mind worked rapidly as she considered how his upbringing had informed who he was today. Maybe if she could understand it, find a connection...maybe she could see how he did the things that she couldn't.

"But he never did," Inko continued. "No matter what I or any of his teachers or bullies said, he never gave up on that dream of being a hero."

Ochako couldn't help but smile at that. "He's the most determined person I know."

Inko nodded. "But then he finally got that quirk and he's been able to fulfil that dream. And I promised I would support him, to make up for how...how I said the wrong thing before..how I failed him..." the mother sniffled a bit in remembrance, another tear coming down from her.

"For what it's worth, I don't think you failed him." Ochako tried to be comforting, although her voice wavered in her unassuredness. "You were trying to look out for him but...you still let him explore what he was passionate about. I think you did alright. And he turned out to be a great guy, right? That's because of you."

"You're so sweet," Inko said between sniffles, rubbing her right eye to dry her tears. "I can see why Izuku likes you so much. Thank you."

"Umm...don't mention it…" Ochako replied. Once more, she was feeling a little flustered, this time by the swell in her heart at the words "Izuku likes you so much." But she reigned those feelings inside like she always did. She had to.

"It's...still difficult now," Inko sighed, leaving her seat and moving back to resume cooking. "Seeing Izuku get hurt all the time. A part of me still wishes he wasn't trying to be a superhero, even if he has a quirk now. Honestly I...a part of me still wants to try to stop him."

The confession surprised Ochako. "Why?" she asked. Her mind flashed back to the images of her nightmares and felt a familiar sense of dread. She suspected she already knew the answer.

"He gets into so much danger now. I want to believe he can handle it but...a mother still worries," Inko explained. "I've seen him get hurt so much since he started at U.A. It hurts me too."

That pain was all too familiar. Ochako's hands tensed as she was again reminded of those cursed dreams, with Izuku in agony while she was helpless to do anything. She gulped as she tried to banish the shadows lingering in her thoughts, focusing instead on the woman and the conversation in front of her.

"I know what you mean," Ochako muttered quietly. "I feel that way too, sometimes."

Inko regarded the girl with a smile before getting back up to resume work on the meal. Ochako's stomach gave another small rumble at the prospect of a hot meal.

"Why…" Ochako paused, having to work up the courage to ask about what was still eating at her. "I guess I want to know. Why did you decide to let him go to school, despite that?"

A small laugh escaped Inko's lips, ringing strangely through the air after they spent so long mired in difficult, upsetting conversation.

"I almost pulled him out. But after everything, I came to realize I can't really stop him, I suppose." A strange, forlorn fondness permeated the mother's voice. "No matter what, Izuku's always going to try to be a hero. Like All Might. I wish he wouldn't but...I know now I have to support that dream. It's who he is."

Ochako felt her heart quiver at the proud declaration. She struggled to keep herself together as she thought about the boy she looked up too; trying so hard, charging at every obstacle, nearly dying in a battle with Overhaul. She knew too there was no stopping him, not for anything. Even if it eventually killed him.

In the fragments of his past, she could see how he had become so determined and unflinching in the face of danger. He had been through so much...much more than she herself had.

She couldn't possibly compare.

"But you know, it is reassuring to know people like you and All Might are there, looking out for him," Inko said. Ochako could hear the smile in her voice. "I know it's not really my place to ask but...I hope you'll stay there for him."

Ochako's heart pounded hard as the guilt that had settled into her stomach flung itself upward. Her eyes watered and she found herself struggling to keep her feelings bottled up. She had to stay composed. She shouldn't lose it in front of this kind woman, she shouldn't bother anyone with this baggage. It wouldn't be fair.

She breathed deeply to push back the feelings that threatened to spill over her. She needed an escape. Just a moment to collect herself.

"Could I use your washroom?" With a herculean effort, Ochako managed to get the question out without spilling over.

"Sure, it's just on your…" Inko turned to regard the girl, her hand stuck out to the right to give guidance.

 _No_...Ochako's felt like a deer in the headlights as she met Inko's glance, the mother's face muddied by her own watery eyes.

She punctuated the awkward moment of silence with a breath and edged slightly out of her chair. Maybe Inko wouldn't comment on it.

"Dear, is there something wrong?"

 _No...no….no_ ….

Her head started feeling light as the question unleashed the floodgates inside of her. She sobbed as she stood up, her hand flying to her mouth to prevent more of the sadness from getting out of her. She had already done this to Deku. She couldn't do this to his mother of all people, too.

"I'm fine, sorry, there's just something...something in my eyes," Ochako stammered out between heaving, tiny breaths. She pushed hard against the surging tides within her. She was stronger than this.

A warm hand grabbed hers. Ochako went still as a statue in shock, a little gasp escaping her lips.

"It's okay," Inko said softly, her voice far too close to her ears. Goosebumps ran down Ochako's skin. "You can let it out if you'd like. I'll listen."

The touch reminded her of her own mother's. Ochako's throat clogged, preventing any attempt of protest from passing through.

Ochako lost track of time as she collapsed, sobbing into Inko's shoulder, muttering about everything but leaving nothing discernible. At some point, Inko guided them over to the soft couch, letting her cry all the while.

Inko didn't impose any questions and Ochako didn't let out any answers. She let herself be lost to the welling of her own feelings, no longer able to maintain the mask that hid her despair. It was cathartic but stinging to cry, the guilt of revealing herself mixing in with the rest of the tangled weeds that wrapped around themselves within her.

"I...I can't…" Ochako managed to get out between sobs after a while. She tried to fight her way back to composure, to answer for her actions and her inability to maintain herself. "I can't...protect him. I can't protect anyone..."

"That's not what I meant, dear," Inko replied, her voice taking on a comforting sweetness. "I meant I would like you to be there with him otherwise; be his friend. But you don't have to if you don't-"

"Of course I want to!" Ochako exclaimed, the force in her proclamation undercut by the sniffle that followed. "But...but I...I'm just so...I don't know."

Inko didn't respond immediately, letting Ochako breathe into the wool of her sweater. The hero-in-training gradually got her breathing to slow down but the quiet tears still flowed freely.

"When you love someone, I know how it can make you feel mixed up," Inko stated.

Ochako's breath went to a near standstill at Inko's implication. A part of her wanted desperately to interject but she found herself lacking the strength to do so.

"They can make you feel amazing, or sad, or infuriated, or...or lost," Inko continued, speaking with a worldly wisdom that age had given her. "Or all of that at the same time. Izuku and his father have made me feel that way, at times."

"How do you…" Ochako mumbled as she disentangled herself from Inko's embrace, rubbing a hand along her own face as she looked to Inko through a watery gaze. "How do you deal with it?"

"Not always well," Inko replied with a small chuckle. "But you have to know it's okay to feel those things. You don't have to keep it all bottled in."

Ochako sniffled and let her gaze wander around the room again, trying to sort out the remnants of the explosion set off within her mind.

"I...I don't know how to feel about Deku," Ochako said softly. Her filter was blown to pieces. There wasn't much point in trying to hide things.

"That's fine too. I don't think he's fully realized how he feels about you, either."

"But I know I want to be like him. To save people like him," Ochako continued with more surety. "I just...I just don't think I can."

There it was, laid out in the open. Ochako could feel a migraine coming on and clutched at her head. She leaned her side against the couch cushions and kept her gaze trained on the fabric. She didn't want to look up.

"When I asked Izuku about the friends he was making, you were the first person he mentioned. He was pretty shy about it at first."

Ochako's ears perked up at the start of her story but she didn't move from her position.

"But he eventually opened about you. He said he met a girl. Then he said you were really nice. I started to notice how his eyes lit up whenever he talked about you."

Ochako buried her face into the cushions and sighed, her cheeks flushing again.

"He talked about how incredible you were. How he was glad to have you as a best friend," Inko went on, unrelenting, her voice channelling the same admiration as her son. "I think you should talk to him but...but I don't think he wants you to be like him. I think he wants you to be you."

She looked up then to see Inko, beaming at her. The mother reached out across to gently grasp Ochako's hand, gazing at her with a familiar intensity.

"And for what it's worth...I think you're a great hero. And I think you should be you, too."

A fresh round of tears streamed down Ochako's face. "Thank you," she whispered. She didn't know what else she could possibly say to that. She didn't really know how to respond to something so kind and heartfelt. She was still unsure but...it made her feel a little bit better.

"You're welcome." Inko left the couch for a moment but returned with a box of tissues, which Ochako gratefully accepted and started blowing her nose.

"Is there anything else you want to talk about?" Inko asked earnestly as she watched over the young girl.

Ochako answered her with a trumpeting of her nose. "I think...I think I'll be alright. I need to talk to Deku though. I want to...I want to apologize to him."

"That seems like a good idea," Inko nodded, before getting back to busy herself with the stovetop. "Well, I think I've stalled out on cooking for long enough. Sorry about that."

"No, no, it's okay," Ochako replied weakly, waving a hand at Inko. "You...you helped me a lot."

"Glad to hear it," Inko said with a bright smile before busying her hands with preparing the long-delayed meal.

Ochako sighed and sank back into the couch, trying to ignore the onset of a headache. Inko's words swam through her mind, disrupting the chaotic waters within.

Despite Inko's assurance, she wasn't sure of herself. She couldn't be. And she didn't know if she could really stop herself from chasing Deku's shadow.

But she did not think she was being fair to him. Ultimately, he had just been trying to live up to his ideal of a hero...like she herself was. She felt she understood him and his unstoppable zeal a little better now. She was worried about his recklessness but the selfless disregard for his own being ultimately saved Eri's life, and possibly countless others in the long run. She shouldn't begrudge him for that.

Deep down, she knew he could achieve anything he put his mind too. That might not completely assuage the aching of her heart but she could rely on her faith in him.

But those were things she could worry about in the future. She realized that she had to have a serious talk with Deku. She was tired of living without her best friend; she needed to make amends.

That was the least she could do.

* * *

AN: The third and final part will be posted Dec. 17.

Thank you to RandomPersonaFanatic on the IzuOcha Discord server for editing this.

I hope you all enjoyed this. Please leave a review and/or a favourite if you did. =)


	3. Dreaming

The familiar, blood-curdling scream pierced Ochako's mind.

There Deku was again, being ripped to pieces by his all-consuming power. She could see him in the distance, a massive chasm of darkness stretched out between them. Its depths were infinite and it looked far too wide for her to get across. She didn't know if she could make it that far. And what would she even do if she got there?

She tried to cover her ears, to ignore his cries of pain. But it didn't seem to matter. She could still hear them, loud and clear. She never could disregard them, no matter how much they hurt her.

* * *

Inko's face swam in front of her mind, her words from earlier mixing in with the agonized shouts from Deku. She thought back to the mother's request; to look out for her son.

Ochako looked down at her fingers, at the gravity-defying power she wielded within them. She thought back to Deku, throwing himself carelessly to stop Overhaul. She looked back to her friend, now helpless, wordlessly crying for help.

She stomped her foot into the dirt and balled her hands into fists.

Ochako was _done_ with this. She could do better than this. She could...she could be a hero. The hero Inko saw in her.

She could look out for him, both on and off the battlefield. That was the least she could do. If she couldn't stop him from throwing himself into death recklessly, then she would have to make sure to yank him out at the end of it.

Because that's what a hero would do.

Without another thought, another fear, another trepidation, Ochako tapped her hand and leapt into the oblivion of darkness separating her from her Deku.

She felt the air rush by her hair as she floated, pushing her back and keeping her away from him. She gritted her teeth and pushed onward, willing herself forward. She would not be overcome by this, not anymore.

When she finally felt her feet touch on solid ground, she sprinted towards him. She could see him closely now, body glowing as his scream continued. But the sound grew quieter, as if his pain was relenting — or as if his throat was too raw to continue.

"I'm...I'm...going...to...save you!" Ochako panted, leaping over the rocks that materialized to impede her path.

He was right there, eyes ablaze with green fire, white energy creating a mystic aura around him. She ignored it all as she reached out towards him. He turned his washed-out gaze towards her, screams abating as he looked at her in confusion.

"I'm not gonna sit here and watch you die anymore!" she shouted into the darkness once more, just as her hand connected to his arm.

The inky darkness exploded into a brilliant light and she was consumed.

* * *

Ochako's eyes opened groggily, the dream shocking her into wakefulness. Her head ached as she groaned out about waking up in the middle of the night once again.

She shambled out of bed and tiptoed over to the washroom. Her body and mind protested but she still sought the familiar refreshment. And perhaps something more.

Her toes pattered quickly across the tile flooring of the washroom as she almost ran over to the sink, turning the faucets and splashing cool water across her skin. It did the charm, as usual, slapping her into wakefulness after a disruptive dream.

She looked up into the familiar, mocking glass of the mirror in front of her. The image within looked much the same as it always did. Short, brown hair dishevelled. Eyes, sunk and shrouded in the dark rings around them, looking sleepy and just a little bit annoyed. A mixture of warm sweat and cool tap water dripping across her skin.

But there was one key difference.

The girl in the mirror wore a smile on her face. A confident smirk, one that challenged the person gazing within. The grin of a hero who fought through fear and nightmares to save the day, proud and unwavering despite the dauntless challenges ahead.

There was a spark there, too, in her eyes. It seemed small but it was something she missed seeing in herself. It might not be as brilliant as _his_ but…it could do.

* * *

The fierce wind blowing through her hair did little to cool the inferno raging within her heart.

Ochako tried desperately to harness her inner fire into an aura of confidence.

 _You can do this. You've faced worse. This will be fine._

But her inner thoughts could not quite settle the tempest storming through her. It was a struggle to keep her underlying fears and guilt from getting the best of her. To not just jump into the clear blue sky, float down from the dorm rooftop and forget about her upcoming confrontation.

Nevertheless, she stood her ground. She had to talk to Deku. There was no turning back.

The metallic creak of the door to the roof announced his presence behind her. The familiar footsteps were faint in the wind but she could still hear them, so intently she was focused on the boy behind her.

"I...I got your note," Deku said, nerves coming through in his weak voice. "I wanted...I wanted to say-"

"Can I go first, Deku?" Ochako interjected. A part of her disliked the rudeness, but she had to be the one to cross that bridge first. She was the instigator and had to make amends.

There was a brief pause. "Sure, Uraraka," Deku replied with a little more surety. "What is it you wanted to tell me?

Her sigh was lost in the howling of the wind. She took a deep breath and reached for the steel within herself; she was going to need it.

"I'm sorry," Ochako stated while turning around to regard him fiercely. He looked unsure of himself, relenting under her unflinching gaze.

"I haven't been fair to you, Deku," Ochako continued, taking a strong step forward. "I was upset by everything that happened but that's no excuse. I shouldn't have said what I did and I hope you'll accept my apology."

She bowed her head, taking a couple of breaths after the words painfully tumbled out of her. She had spent a couple of hours rehearsing exactly how she wanted to phrase things but it was still a struggle to lay it all out there.

"Ochako...of course I...there's nothing you have to apologize for," Deku stumbled through his response. It figured he would try to deflect the need for her apology, selfless to a fault as he was.

"I did need to," Ochako lifted her head to regard him with intensity now. His expression was neutral but at least he no longer looked like a lost puppy. "The truth is Deku...I...I…"

She breathed again and closed her eyes. This was the part of her script that always got her. That tore away at her insides. But she had to say it, for both their sakes.

"I envy you."

The words hung in the air, a lethal explosive that stood as a threat to shattering the bonds between them.

"...What? What do you mean?" Deku responded, eyes beseeching her for truth.

"You're incredible, Deku. You're able to do things I can't even imagine being capable of. But that's not just because of your quirk," Ochako explained, holding up her hand and presenting her padded fingertips. "You never give up, no matter how powerful your opponent is. You rush into danger without even thinking about it to save somebody. Even if...even if you put your own life at risk."

She turned her hand toward herself, looking disdainfully at the skin at her hand. "You're already such an amazing hero. I look at you and...and I see everything I would like to be. Your passion, your strength, it's...it's inspiring."

Ochako actually smiled a bit at seeing his face go completely red at the unrelenting compliments. He never did take those in stride.

"But…" her face fell knowing the track her practised speech would have to take. Her heart clenched up as those haunting images bubbled to the forefront of her mind once more. "But it's been hard keeping up with you. I knew it would be but...seeing you fighting Overhaul, completely uncaring of your own life, in the face of someone that _terrible_...it hurt. At first, I didn't fully understand why. But now I do."

Ochako watched his expression carefully as she worked through her heartfelt words. He looked perturbed but she did her utmost to not let that reaction still her.

"No matter how hard I try, I'm never going to be able to be you," Ochako admitted while flashing him with the mask of a sunny smile. "I can't hope to be the hero I know you're going to be. That...that hurt me a lot, at first. But I've come to terms with it. I can accept it."

"Uraraka I-"

"There's just a little bit more, I promise," Ochako continued unabated by his attempted interjection. "I just...don't know if I'll be able to continue if I stop now. Is that okay?

Deku's steely stare was difficult to read and thus inspired some more anxiety from her. But he nodded, kindly heeding her request.

"There's...there's another part of this, I guess," Ochako looked away from his face but kept his right arm in her vision. The arm with scars slicing all over the surface of its skin. "Honestly, watching you fighting him and then...what happened after, with you and Nighteye. It terrified me Deku. I…" she gulped, feeling her throat grow dry. Her eyes started to feel a little misty but she pushed down that particular release. She was done with tears over this.

"I haven't slept well in weeks after seeing that. As your...friend, it makes me worried how unwilling you are to hold back. It makes you a great hero but...but against Overhaul...I thought you were going to die, Deku. I thought I was going to lose you."

Despite her best efforts, her eyes really did water a bit at the admission. But she powered onward, grabbing onto her fighting spirit to end her monologue.

"But I know I can't stop you from doing that. It's...it's part of who you are. So, I've decided to do something else instead," she proclaimed while thrusting a fist forward.

"The next time you take on a villain like that, I'm going to be right there helping! And if it comes to it, I'm going to make sure you get out of there!"

Channeling all of her positive energy, she gave him the brightest smile she could muster. The type of smile a hero like him would wear. She saw a look of awe spread wide across his face. She liked it.

"Next time, I'm going to be the one saving you!" she declared, giving him a thumbs-up. "You can count on it!"

Ochako held the pose for a moment before her thumb started to waver and she let it drop. She closed her eyes and tilted her head downward, retreating into herself. She sighed and took a deep breath, preparing for the worst. That was...a little silly. She had put a lot out there. She knew it could permanently damage her friendship. She braced herself for the worst.

"Are you finished now, Uraraka?"

"Yes. Sorry that took so long and I'm sorry I haven't let you say much. Go right ahead."

The moment of silence between them felt far too long. She kept her eyes closed and listened intently to his quiet footsteps.

"The first thing I guess I wanted to say, Uraraka is...I accept your apology. I...I don't know think you needed to apologize to me but I appreciate it all the same. You...what you said right now was very brave."

"Thank you, Deku," was all she could squeak out, her heart fluttering with fear and relief as his voice grew closer.

"The second thing is...well...I wanted to say that _I_ am sorry. I shouldn't have been so reckless in that fight. And I should have considered your feelings sooner."

That surprised her but she realized she should have expected as much. Of course he would go off thinking he had done something wrong. Even though it really fell on her.

"The third thing...is...well…" his voice sounded close beyond the darkness of her eyelids. It sounds too close.

"Uraraka I...I think you're the most...the most... _incredible_ girl I've ever met," he stammered, voice coming from above her. She looked up and her eyes were met with his, shining brightly with a familiar passion she admired. What made her face heat up, though was seeing that passion directed towards her.

"Deku…?" she trailed off her question, a little dumbfounded by how his admission and proximity. She could clearly see every freckle on his face.

"Oh, sorry," Deku apologized again, taking a step slightly back. She found herself missing the closeness but refused to admit it.

"Uraraka you...I...this is hard for me to say…" Deku stumbled through the words while scratching the side of his head. "I...I guess I'm just really flattered. I know what it's like to not be able to meet the person you look up to. I'm just...having a hard time believing you feel that way about me."

He blinked bashfully at her as she tried to hold in a sudden urge to combust with embarrassment. Had she come on too strong?

"I've been thinking about what happened and I just...I am sorry that I scared you like that," Deku sighed, his gaze wavering in its confidence. "I've been hearing a lot about my recklessness from my teachers, actually. And my mom's given me an earful about it a few times. I know I can't...I can't keep doing that, at least not yet."

Ochako watched as he met her eyes again with a wide smile and eyes blazing brilliantly towards the horizon. He wasn't just looking at her this time, not really; he was looking at something beyond her. Somehow, she was just as taken with that.

"I've got to keep getting stronger, so I can help people without worrying everyone," Deku stated, heroic zeal pouring from every note in his voice. "I want to be a hero that can reassure everyone with a smile. I want to be a hero who can inspire people not to be afraid."

She hung onto his words, her breath stolen and her cheeks suddenly feeling very, very hot.

"I want to be a hero like you, Uravity." His face was shining like the sun, his heroic smile mimicking hers.

She could feel the wind biting the sweat on her brow, cooling her heated skin. She could feel her heart, thundering hard in her chest, like punches from within her. She could feel the water running down her rosy cheeks, no longer caring to stop the unbidden tears.

What had she done to deserve a friend like him?

Why did that phrase seem inadequate, somehow?

"Deku...you….you…" Ochako stammered, before giving up words and throwing her arms around him. She squeezed him with all her strength, desperate to show him what that had meant to her, which words could not capture.

He went still as a rock at first. She thought he heard him mutter " _being hugged by a girl_ …" under his breath, but she figured she must have imagined it.

Eventually, his arms shakily wrapped around her back, returning the loving embrace.

"You're the best friend anyone could ask for." She cried into his shoulder, wishing she could reign in the tears in front of him. But she couldn't help it; he was just too darn sweet.

"You're...you're...you're…" Deku stuttered, causing her to giggle through her tears. She could imagine his blushing face without looking. "I could say the same….the same thing about you, Uraraka," he managed to spit it out.

Slowly, she disentangled herself from him and held him at arm's length. She confirmed that indeed, his face was blushing fiercely, likely matching her own face. But his smile was gentle and he looked at her with an adoration that made her head feel a little fuzzy.

Feeling an affectionate impulse, Ochako lifted her feet and pressed her lips to his freckled cheek.

She pulled back as quickly as she came up. Her heart fluttered pleasurably while her face felt like it was on fire. It paled in comparison to Deku's embarrassment though, to her delight.

"Wah...wah...wah…" Deku gulped, head turning into the colour of a ripe tomato, his brain apparently short-circuiting. Ochako couldn't help but laugh.

"That's...that's a thank you," Ochako explained, although wishing she had the courage to push things further. But she figured today would be far enough as an exploration of their relationship. For now. "Thanks for putting up with me. And for...for all of that."

"Don't mention it," Deku mumbled in a daze, before shaking his head to recompose himself. "Would you...maybe want to go out and grab something to eat? We haven't done that in a while."

Her heart pinged with nostalgia as she remembered the simpler days that felt so long ago, when they were just starting their friendship. They'd go out to places after school all the time, with Iida. She missed that, more than she realized until the suggestion came forward. She wanted it again.

"There's nothing that would make me happier," she replied, beaming with enthusiasm.

Maybe she wouldn't ever catch up to Deku. Maybe she couldn't hope to hold a candle to him as a hero. She might not be able to save as many people as he could. Maybe she could not be him, even though a part of her so desperately wanted to be.

But as Ochako walked by his side, chatting away amiably with him once again, she knew there were few things she would give this up for. If she couldn't be like him, then this could be enough.

And she would keep pushing herself to her limit, to try to keep pace. As fragile as her belief in her heroics might be, she never wanted to stop trying. She wanted to save people and she would give her all for that. And she would do her all to keep pace with him, to stay close enough behind him to be able to pull his feet out of the fire.

After all, she had people who looked up to her. For them, she would have to be the best hero she could be.

* * *

 **AN** : Thank you to RandomPersonaFanatic from the IzuOcha Discord server for editing this.

I hope you all enjoyed reading this story. It was challenging, but enjoyable, to write. =) Thank you for all the reviews, favourites and follows.


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